My little boy sure loves his Daddy...

I spent the weekend volunteering at a grief camp for my 4th year. It is a camp for children who have experienced the death of a parent or a sibling, and this year we had several kids at camp who unfortunately have experienced both. It is an opportunity for the kids to come together with other kids who have experienced similiar losses and are going through the same feelings and family changes.

The camp strives to help the kids recognize that all of the feelings that come with their grief are normal, and in fact, good to have as compared to holding it all in. We do a lot of fun activities as well as the "hard stuff" and every year my life feels more complete as I watch the kids greet their parents on Sunday, and I know that I did just a little something to help a child (or maybe two...)

Upon my return home each year of doing camp, I tend to feel very emotionally and mentally drained. We see and hear a lot of pain but hold it all in to be strong for the kids. But all of the staff (most of the staff work positions at Children's Hospital so they deal with death day in and day out) have to go home after a long weekend and try and be "normal" for their own families. I was really missing Gage the whole weekend, and I guess I expected a warm welcome home from my little boy. Can you believe he actually cried and tried to get away from me?! I would put him down and he'd crawl over to Tim and yank on his legs until Tim picked him up. Then, when in his Daddy's arms, all was good and he would giggle and smile. This went on the whole night.

I KNOW he loves me more than anything, but I have to say, this is the first time in his 10 months that he hasn't reached for his mama, and it was a time when I really needed him to...
so it kind of broke my heart.

Today was a good day, and we spent some special time together at the park and playing in the grass. It started all over when Daddy came home tonight, and Gage wouldn't even let me give him his bath.

Now I know how my parents must have felt when I was thirteen and just a little too cool to be seen with them...