Come on, Moms...Cut yourself a BREAK!

I'm doing this post at a very good time for myself.  I threw myself a pity party this past month and you won't believe it....nobody attended!  HA!
But seriously, I've really been struggling these past months with adjusting to my life with twins, and especially during these long and cold winter months, and most recently in dealing with two sick babies.

I invited a new mom over to my house a couple of weeks ago.  She and I had met at the gym when we were both early in our pregnancies, and then we hung out with a mutual group of friends on and off for a few months up until the births of our boys.  She admitted to me when we spoke several months ago that she has really been struggling in her new role as a mom, and she had "a bunch of questions for me" and needed some advice. 

I do not consider myself a professional mother.  I mean seriously, there are a million parenting books out there, but really and truly, each one of us mothers and fathers know that being a parent is a learning experience.  You just learn and adapt as  you go.  You make mistakes.  Some of us are better in our nurturing ways, and some of us struggle with learning "the ropes".  Some of us struggle with disciplining our children, some of us are more lax.  But all in all, we adjust.  We figure it out.  And we all deserve a pat on the back.

When my friend came over, she made several references to me "having it all together".  She also said I was "amazing", and that she couldn't "understand how I do it".  I realized right then and there that she truly admired me, and was considering me some sort of Super Mom!   Although this felt good, I needed her to know and to understand that I am NOT the Betty Crocker/Becky Home-Eccy/June Cleaver that she was making me out to be.

I pulled out the chicken salad I had purchased at the deli for our lunch, and opened up a bag of chips, and set out a package of cookies I happened to have left over from the previous weekend. (Note:  nothing homemade!)  I told her that I cry.  A lot.  I told her that I struggle with emotional break-downs.  A lot.  I told her that just like her, I was human. 
I struggle.  Parenting multiples doesn't "come easy to me". I just do it.  I don't have a choice!  Am I a good mother?  Of course!  But just like 99% of the mothers I know and am friends with....so are they!

SHE is a good mother.  She needs to cut herself a break.  I explained to her that she cannot just assume that every other mother is out there skipping through the piles of laundry and dirty diapers and unwashed dishes  like they have their whole world in the palm of their hands.  Being a mom is hard. It's the hardest job I have ever had.  And especially being the mom of multiples.  I feel that so many of us moms put so much pressure on ourselves to have the cleanest houses, the most organized lives, the happiest, most well-adjusted children.  And when one of these areas fall a little behind our own standards we have set for ourselves, we feel as if we failed.

We ALL need to cut ourselves a break.  We are all good moms, whether we stay home with our kids full-time, work part or full-time, or don't work and hire a nanny, we all do the best we can do as our children are well-fed, well-dressed, warm, cozy, clean, and most importantly, loved.  

When it is all said and done and the long day is over, everyone is happy, loved and cared for...
and you have to realize, moms, that it's a job well done.

Congratulations.  :)